I'm sorry

 To my beautiful future wife,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry we're not together.

I'm sorry for all the things that you've been through that I couldn't be there for you. 

I'm sorry for all the missed birthdays, holidays, workdays, and rest days I wasn't there supporting you. 

I'm sorry for all the nights I couldn't be there to soothe you to sleep and hold you through.

I'm sorry for all the accomplishments that you've made that I wasn't there to cheer you on for. 

I'm sorry for all the loss you've been through that I couldn't hold you in my arms and tell you how everything was going to be okay, even if neither of us knew it would.

I'm sorry for all the lazy, rainy afternoons that I couldn't be there to cuddle you and stroke your hair while you napped.

I'm sorry for all the hectic days that I couldn't do things for you to make them easier for you.

I'm sorry for all the days or nights you might have worked hard and came home sore and I wasn't there to give you massages to melt your tension away.

I'm sorry for all the wonderful, beautiful songs, videos, shows, movies, games, and moments that you so wished to share with a partner, but I wasn't there.

I'm sorry for all the laughs you had that I couldn't be there to join in for.

I'm sorry for all the things that you cared about that I couldn't be there to validate you for.

I'm sorry for all the foods and snacks that you enjoyed having that I couldn't make or bring you.

I'm sorry for all the days you were sick and I couldn't be there to take care of you. 

I'm sorry for all the days you pretended to be sick just so that you could take the day off and I couldn't be there to play hooky with you.

I'm sorry for all the wonderful sentences you've spoken with your lovely voice that I couldn't be there to listen. 

I'm sorry for all the mornings that I wasn't there to give you a goodbye hug and a kiss before you left for anything you needed to do. 

I'm sorry for all the love that was spilled to the floor because I wasn't there to catch it. 

I'm sorry for all the time we've lost that we could have spent together if only we were together. 

I'm sorry I'm not with you.

I'm sorry.

Sincerely, your mournful future husband.